I think sometimes people are over-positive.
Not that I am against positive thoughts. I am all for it. We all need hope and motivation. I might be a pessimist but hey I like happy things too, like daisies, sunshine and hot hunky dudes in speedos. What I am talking about here is the sickening, pampering kind of positivity.
When you get balls-deep into some serious depression and you get emo on your Facebook status, some people would always be like 'Don't be sad, stay positive!'; and after a messy break up, when you feel like a walking corpse and don't want to do anything, these people always try to drag you out of your room to play squash or go do yoga, 'You should go out more!' 'You should move on!'
I think these sunshine-evangelists are missing the point here. If I can choose to be positive, I won't be sad right now; and if I can move on, I won't be sulking in my goddamn stinky room. Negative emotions are like bumps on the head - you can't just push it in.
When my friends are sad, I just buy them beer, roll them some green, and sit there to listen to their crap. Healing is a process, not a flip-switch. When a person decides he has dwelt long enough in his dark place, he will get out of it. As a friend what you can do is to give him the hand as he ascends to the surface from the underground on his own pace. Negative people, in general, dislike cheerful shoving from the back.
Not that I am against positive thoughts. I am all for it. We all need hope and motivation. I might be a pessimist but hey I like happy things too, like daisies, sunshine and hot hunky dudes in speedos. What I am talking about here is the sickening, pampering kind of positivity.
When you get balls-deep into some serious depression and you get emo on your Facebook status, some people would always be like 'Don't be sad, stay positive!'; and after a messy break up, when you feel like a walking corpse and don't want to do anything, these people always try to drag you out of your room to play squash or go do yoga, 'You should go out more!' 'You should move on!'
I think these sunshine-evangelists are missing the point here. If I can choose to be positive, I won't be sad right now; and if I can move on, I won't be sulking in my goddamn stinky room. Negative emotions are like bumps on the head - you can't just push it in.
When my friends are sad, I just buy them beer, roll them some green, and sit there to listen to their crap. Healing is a process, not a flip-switch. When a person decides he has dwelt long enough in his dark place, he will get out of it. As a friend what you can do is to give him the hand as he ascends to the surface from the underground on his own pace. Negative people, in general, dislike cheerful shoving from the back.
